Between training for licensing for my job and homework, I will be taking a break from social media this week. I’ll be back by the weekend!
Brightest of Blessings,
The Autumn Witch
Between training for licensing for my job and homework, I will be taking a break from social media this week. I’ll be back by the weekend!
Brightest of Blessings,
The Autumn Witch
I’ve recently seen people confessing or sharing facts about themselves on a myriad of different forums and thought it seemed like a great idea! Ya’ll read my blog, follow me on Twitter or Facebook or Instagram, yet I doubt I’ve really shared anything about who I am as a person and a witch. So yes, I am jumping on the bandwagon with this one. Here are 32 Facts/Confessions about me. (I’m unsure why 32 but it was a number that came to me!)
I didn’t think I would have much to share. Holy crap, 32 facts?! However, I could’ve still kept on going so that’s awesome! I hope ya’ll enjoy getting to know me a bit more and comment a few facts about yourself! I would LOVE to get to meet you as well! 🙂
Brightest of Blessings,
The Autumn Witch
Don’t forget you can find me:
“Sometimes to find love we must first love ourselves. In loving ourselves, we uncover our relationship with love.” –The Autumn Witch
We all have our own issues and problems in regards to love-whether that be love for ourselves, our family, our friends, our significant other, or even the overall conception of just love. It’s this very misunderstanding and misconceptions that can lead to us dreading and abhorring certain days like today-Valentine’s Day. I can already hear the collective groan! It isn’t because I’m single that I despise it but the simple over commercialization of what love should look like which leads to an over inflated sense of grandeur as well as expectations.
That doesn’t mean that I dislike romance and lovey-dovey schmutz either because believe me, I do! I’d noticed recently my dislike for Valentine’s Day has only increased and grown worse but I wasn’t sure why. Sure, I’m single but I choose to be. I value my independence, time, and interests. There’s just a lot I want to do and unless I happen upon a man who shares those exact passions, I feel like I’m settling. That I’m forcing myself to give up and that’s not my thing. For example: I want to travel the world and teach abroad. I’ve actually been researching a potential opportunity to teach English abroad for a year in a country that I do speak the language of which would be an amazing opportunity (don’t want to give too much away–better not jinx it!), however when I guy starts talking to me and wanting to become serious, I totally freak. The men I’ve talked to either already have children, which isn’t the problem for me, but also love the area they are living in or have explicitly stated they’ve done all the travelling they wanted. We end up wanting two very different things!
OR this was the excuse I was always mumbling to myself whenever I would either decline any offers for a date or when I would end the relationship all together. It’s not that I’m a flake but there was something deeper to it that I just wasn’t acknowledging–or even willing to uncover! I wasn’t being real with myself. Well, recently I’ve begun a journey of self-love which has already been incredible. Suffering from low self-esteem and confidence, this has been a major eye-opener for me and it was through this love for myself that I began to open my heart up. With this came those emotional wounds, those shadows of my past.
It actually wasn’t something I had planned on doing as I wasn’t even aware I had deeper, more rooted issues that were plaguing my love life until this morning when I drew my card for the day which I’ll include the link below for! This card signaled there was some relationship and emotional issues that needed to be resolved before I could be free and move on. I knew I’m still pining over an ex-boyfriend of mine who was the ideal man for me–having been sixteen at the time meant I had been afraid of that serious commitment even though I could envision us getting married one day. Wait, how could I be afraid of the promise to stay together yet I could see us happily married with kids? Simple. It’s because I was afraid of settling down and not making anything out of myself. I was afraid that if I remained with him then I would give up my dreams of traveling and even maybe my dream of going to college. Over dramatic? Definitely but being an emotional teenage girl, that was who I was.
So, I dumped him. Except not in the best way possible. I dumped him for his best friend that we both worked with. Yikes. I know how wrong it was and actually ended up dumping his friend the same night I dumped my boyfriend because we just weren’t compatible in the least bit. I’d gone from someone I cared deeply about to someone who was only really looking a girl to have a fun time with. My fear wasn’t the only thing that drove me to do it but also several other factors, such as only seeing and talking to him at work because he didn’t have a phone or car. That, my friends, gets lonely whereas the other one did. And he loved to text so going from only speaking to a guy four-five times a week to having a guy text you Good Morning….it isn’t that hard to understand why I felt drawn to the latter.
It wasn’t only with that boyfriend though that I’ve sabotaged it somehow but I didn’t understand why I did it. Sure, like I stated previously, fear of giving up on my dreams was one and a big one but that wasn’t the end of it. As I prepared for my day, I was showering and that was when it hit me. It’d been a conditioning from my childhood that I had repressed and swept underneath the rug–THEN add the failed relationships that I blamed myself for and continued blaming myself for. You see, my parents didn’t have the best of relationships and actually were two people who never should’ve gotten married. They constantly bickered and I could see how much my mom hated being in that relationship. She’d given up her dreams of going to college, of making something of herself and had instead settled for being married and immediately having children. I was born four days before my parents first anniversary.
Watching her regret her decision and relationship every day as a child subconsciously had resolved me to never allow myself to become tangled in that trap. I refused to. So whenever a relationship would be fine and well, I’d panic and do end it. I looked for any reasons to justify my leaving and there just never seemed a good enough reason to stay. Being given this fresher perspective, I’m able to work on my issues so that they don’t hinder me in the future. While I value my independence, if in the right relationship I won’t feel like I’ve lost that. This aha-moment has given me the opportunity to really examine what love truly means to me. I used to think love was a hindrance that wasn’t a luxury I could afford. I thought it looked as miserable as my parent’s marriage. I wanted this ideal perfect boyfriend who met such high standards because then I could easily argue against any relationship because they were below par. I was afraid. I still am. I’d be a fool to believe otherwise, however I now have the tools and capability to fix that conditioning since I can know understand why I believe it to be so.
If you find none of your relationships are panning out, take a step back. Reflect on each relationship and look for common themes. They’ll be there. Journaling would be a great way to do this! Take a honest look which can be hard as none of us want to admit our faults. I believe in you. If you want to do this but are having a hard time starting, try answering these questions:
I know Spirit was telling me it was finally time to face those shadows and to learn to love again. Stop fighting. I don’t have to be in a relationship-that’s still my choice-but it will actually be of my own free will and not driven by fear. I give thanks to Spirit for that lesson this morning and know it’ll take some time but as I deepen my love for myself then so too will I deepen my ability to love others. If it wasn’t for that card this morning then I highly doubt I would’ve given much thought to the problem but instead only continued burying it.
Thank you for taking the time to read this long and incredibly personal post which wasn’t easy for me to write. However, healing isn’t easy nor without pain. We’ve all been a points in our lives which we regret later on but each experience is meant to serve as a lesson and looking back now, I can objectively find lessons learned with each failed relationship. Were they indeed doomed as I believed or may they have actually worked out? Who knows. Either way, my next relationship will be completely free of my own choosing.
Brightest of Blessings!
The Autumn Witch
I wish you a day overflowing with love and joy! ❤
“Listen to the wind, the birds, the sounds of the earth and sky for they are the voices of the God and Goddess.”–The Autumn Witch
Constantly we are searching and seeking the Divine either for connection, support, encouragement, love, insight, or even proof They do exist. While I believe people of all backgrounds and faiths have this deep yearn to connect to their concept of the Creator, I have found that ever since my returning home, as I like to call it, my “conversion”–if you will–to Paganism and Witchcraft, has been fraught with such need for reaffirmation. Just the simple reaffirming that the God and Goddess, the Great Spirit (as I collectively think of Them) are there. Some faiths have buildings were they convene to communicate with the Divine and have books full of inspiration and divinely inspired insight to read and recite. We, as Pagans and Witches, have nature.
Well then, should that not make it far more easier to speak and hear our Deities? Yes and No. We all have hectic days where we’re constantly going from here to there while our minds are preoccupied with to-do’s and mundane necessities that we might eventually find our spiritual practice lacking. This has happened to me far too often and that is a goal for this year–to become more spiritually attuned as well as develop a daily practice that I can keep. From this lack of a daily practice, we become distant from our Gods which only leaves us empty and searching. I’ve noticed that during the winter, when it’s too cold for me to really spend much time outdoors-and actually, most of the time don’t want to go outside!-as well as days that are just too chaotic, I begin to feel even more lost and begin to question my path. I firmly believe this is due to remaining indoors and losing that connection to nature that I had before the onset of winter.
Do you have to have this sudden lack of connection in order to seek? Certainly not, however I do believe, and have personally noted, that it seems to be the more popular time to seek Them out. If you follow me on Twitter, you know that during the Mercury Retrograde I was at my spiritual height for 2016. I was finally shedding the old and embracing my authentic self. However, as soon as Mercury went Direct it was as if the wind got knocked from me and I went spiraling into this depressive, almost numb, sort of state. I felt empty and lacked all motivation for my practice. I began to become overcome by ego and fear–especially fears I’d released at the end of December. They took a hold of me and would not let go! I couldn’t find the Gods! It was as if They were gone! In this state of confusion and isolation, I began to return to my previous religion and it was as if I was stumbling around in a stupor. I had brief flashes of awe and excitement during this excursion, as I shall deem it, but I knew in my mind it was not my path. It no longer served me.
After about two weeks or so, I decided I’d had enough. I was not returning. I was not traveling backwards but would continue with the progression I’d made. I was a Pagan Witch–dammit! (Sometimes I have to be a little firm with myself.) One night, after having watched a video that I thoroughly had enjoyed in regards to my past faith, I was lying in bed about to close my eyes for bed when I had made the decision to pray. Mind you, I’m not much into prayer. Not because it doesn’t work or I’m against it but just because I always ended up missing “prayer sessions” whenever I implemented a prayer regimen, if you will and would scold myself. You know, where you say you’ll pray before bed, before meals, etc. I’m not too good at the whole time-table prayer schedule-or even with altar devotions! I digress. I stated my intention that I was going to pray. At this time, I’d figured I would be praying to God, however as I closed my eyes and folded my hands in front of my chest, I found the words that came to my mind were not addressed to Him but to the Gods and Goddesses I’d previously spoken with.
I named Them each by name-first the Goddesses then the Gods-before addressing the Great Spirit which I believe encompasses Them All as well as any Deities of other faiths. They are all manifestations and aspects of this Great Spirit-this One energy that permeates all. As you can imagine, this was a pretty long list that included Celtic, Greek, and Egyptian Deities. Any that I’d ever felt a connection to. I listed Them, visualizing each and every single one, before beseeching Them to help me find a re-connection to Them. I asked Them to return to my life as I knew this former path was no longer my own. I released this prayer then went to sleep but with more peace in my heart than I’d felt previously.
The next morning I awoke early and left for work. I didn’t give any other thought to the prayer but as I stepped outside, it was silent. Completely still of all people and cars, incredible since I live in a city! The morning air was crisp with just a hint of mist which is always a very mystical and magickal form of precipitation to me. As I began to cross the street towards my car, I heard a crow caw and smiled as a crow, personally, symbolizes magick is afoot. I acknowledged that and continued. Something told me to glance down and there was a worm in the road and I carefully stepped over it. Immediately a small giggle entered my mind as I thought, “All creatures are from Gaia”. Then I noticed some squirrels playing at the tree near my car. It wasn’t until after I had fastened my seat belt and began to pull out that I realized I was receiving exactly what I’d asked for. The God and Goddess don’t necessarily speak with words. We don’t hear loud, booming voices announcing the presence of the Gods. Instead, They speak through signs, through symbols, and through nature.
This taught me a very important lesson-look for the signs. Spirit/The Gods are always speaking but are we listening? Do we brush aside these signs and instead expect only words? Do we open ourselves up to receive such communication? The sight of animals associated with a particular Deity or of our spirit animals can be far greater a sign of communication than even words could! We must listen not with our ears but with our spirit and with our heart. We must shift from the logical part of ourselves and tap into our intuitive and emotional side. It is through this that we will experience the Gods.
If you’re wondering about why I’d willingly returned to a previous faith with the knowledge that it wasn’t for me: I’d discovered it was a deep shadow of mine that I’d never worked with. I’d learned that whenever things weren’t going well or something awful happened in my life, I’d go running back to my previous faith in fear. That can’t go. Fear and being uncomfortable are a part of life and it is through the tackling of them that we are able to progress and evolve.
Returning to my message about the signs, next time you’re feeling disconnected or anything then firstly always go to nature first. This can really ground and connect us. If that doesn’t help then ask yourself, “are you looking for the signs?” I’ve had great inspiration and connection come to me when sitting beneath a tree with the breeze suddenly swirling through the leaves, rustling the words of the Gods than I’ve had sitting inside and praying. Seek Them out, if you must, but remember to listen with more than your ears. Open your heart. Otherwise, you may just miss what it is They are saying. Don’t forget to ask either.
This, my friends, is Simple Magick. How? It doesn’t involve any tools, any trappings, any preparation. It can simply be a prayer followed with observation. Any connection to Spirit is magick in my opinion. I do apologize as this is a very long winded post but it explains not only my absence this month but my renewed vigor for my Craft and my path.
Brightest of Blessings,
The Autumn Witch
“We must listen not with our ears but with our spirit and with our heart.”-The Autumn Witch
Good Afternoon, everyone! I feel like it’s been ages since I last posted anything and honestly this week has been so busy that I don’t know if I’m coming or going which isn’t necessarily bad. I just don’t like not having time for things which I feel I need to do for myself, you know? I haven’t been able to go to the gym, meditate, or really do much to relax. Needless to say, I’ve felt rather frazzled! Then my week ended with me getting food poisoning! Oh goodness! Anyways, today I’ve finally had time to recollect myself and really just chill which drew my attention to my lack of posting on here. I have so many ideas swarming around in my head that I couldn’t possibly decide which topic I wanted to talk about but I did know I only wanted to choose one so I don’t overwhelmingly begin to post tons of stuff. 🙂
Hence I decided that since I’ve been using crystals a lot lately I would post about my top five favorite ones to use. Most pagans and witches who work with crystals always seem to have one or two favorites that overlap which is why I always find it very interesting to see what others prefer and like. Without further ado, let’s take a quick look at the crystals I typically tend to reach for….
My first favorite crystal is Black Tourmaline. I absolutely LOVE this stone and have several rough stones along with a bottle of crystal chips that I use in appropriate spellwork. This is one of the stones I prefer to always have on my altar as well. Black Tourmaline is a strong protective stone against negative energy and can transmute it into something more positive. Some say it is a purifying stone. It is related to the root chakra and is also known as Schorl. It is found worldwide. It has a very calming, protective, and calming energy which is one of the reasons I love it. I carried this crystal for a week and it was an amazing experience that I’ll talk about in a later post. When I worked at Walmart I always carried this stone in my vest pocket and I really could feel the difference whenever I left it at home.
Now is when it gets difficult because I love all the next crystals equally so their order is of no importance. They all are my second favorite! 🙂 The next crystal is Rose Quartz. Rose Quartz is a stone of love, all types of love, that has a very beautiful and soft calming energy that just envelops you in its warmth. From that description, its very easy to tell why I adore it so much! (Yes, those were my words and not a quote :p) It raises your self-confidence and self-esteem which makes it fantastic for positive affirmations. Compassion, harmony, and peace are some other correspondences for this stone. The main source of this stone would be Brazil but it’s also found in several other countries, including the U.S.. I love pairing this stone with Black Tourmaline, especially when I was working. I like to keep a crystal in the bathroom near my facial wash and make-up as I naturally correlate it to the Goddesses of Love and Beauty. Just my own little thing I like to do. This would obviously correspond to the heart chakra.
The next crystal would be Amethyst. I have always loved and been drawn to amethyst which might also be due to my love of the color of purple. This crystal is good for spiritual growth, psychic awareness, protection (to some people), and ridding the house of negative energy. It is known as a stone of change and enlightenment. Traditionally it was believed to prevent drunkiness which is interesting. I keep a piece of amethyst in the bag with my tarot cards due to its correspondence with psychic awareness. I have a cluster that I also keep on my altar at all times. It’s a good overall healer stone and I’ve found it particularly great for headache relief. Most amethyst comes from Zambia but it is also found and mined in several other countries. It is related to the brow chakra (3rd eye).
Next on my list is Citrine. I am positively in love with this stone! Nothing makes me happier or more giddy than having citrine with me. To me it is like a little piece of sunshine 🙂 Citrine is known as the merchant stone as its great for money and prosperity. It’s a stone of happiness, joy, positivity, and abundance. Some people claim that citrine is one of the few stones that never need to be cleansed but personally I prefer to cleanse all my stones, especially when I first get them. It is a very energizing and good for personal will which is why it relates to the solar plexus chakra.This is the only stone I ever use for that chakra! It is said to be good for psychic awareness when placed upon the brow which I can only think of its close relation to amethyst (which both are types of quartz). Also deep orange citrine is typically heat treated amethyst but it works just as well as regular citrine. In fact my favorite piece of citrine is heat treated and I still love it. It can also be used for mental clarity. Most citrine comes from Brazil but it’s also found in a couple other countries.
Last but certainly not least is Carnelian. I used to not feel so connected to this stone but it’s definitely one of my favorites now! Carnelian is a stone of courage, vitality, sexuality, confidence, and action. It is thought to banish emotional negativity and I definitely concur with that. I always feel much better emotionally with this stone. It is supposed to calm anger and increase not only personal power but also creativity. It’s related to the sacral chakra and as citrine, I only use this stone for my chakra! It’s a stone of grounding and can be used to clear energy to bring about peace. It’s a good motivator so when feeling lethargic or just not really wanting to do anything, I always turn to this stone. Its good for manifestation as well and is said to help aid citrine in manifesting quickly along with Tiger’s Eye. It is commonly found in Brazil, India, Siberia, and Germany.
If you haven’t worked with these stones, I implore you to give them a try and I’m sure you’ll find them becoming part of your routine crystals. 🙂 If you have had any experiences with these stones, I’d love to hear about them!
Brightest of Blessings!
**Disclaimer: The information contained in this post is not meant to treat any sort of diagnosis and therefore should not be used in place of proper medical attention.** (Just to cover my ass!)
We all have lessons to learn during this lifetime and some believe that before we incarnated we had decided what those were going to be. We’d set the scene for this life before our parents had even thought of us! Crazy, right? These lessons can be small or big, difficult or simple. They can range a myriad of examples that I could not even fathom the mere thought of trying to describe them.
Some of these lessons are easy to spot while others take some deep contemplation, and even then we may find them almost illusive. They appear like smoke and the more we reach and try to grasp them, the more confounded and empty we are. When I first started upon my path years ago, I’d made a promise to myself that I’d taken rather lightly without my realizing it. I’d stated that since I am a witch, and that was what I was going to be, I would take full responsibility for my actions, thoughts, and words. Easy, right?
After a couple of years, I started having these fears come up that were never present before. I’d never been afraid of the devil or hell as they were things I simply never believed in. In fact, I’d never fully believed in God. Yet, I began to have these fears and wonder if people would reject me and despise me simply because of what I was practicing. I knew witchcraft and Wicca aren’t evil or anything of the like. I knew what I was doing was good and permissible but these nagging fears clutched at my heart and mind until I was very unsettled even though I pressed on in my studies. It didn’t take long before I began to flip flop back and forth between Wicca and Judaism–something I had begun to thought was due to my lack of working with the Divine Masculine as I’d become very Goddess-centered in my studies. We all do need that balance–at least, I do. I’m not Jewish but Judaism had led me to searching for my spirituality and I realized everything I believed in and had known since I was a child feel within the realms of Wicca/Witchcraft/Paganism. I was so excited and while I did have a deep love of Judaism as I’d had some very profound experiences within it, it wasn’t for me and I was reminded of that every time I returned to it. I would feel empty and as if something were missing.
While in Temple, I would long for my Goddess and to celebrate the turning of the Wheel that I could feel within my very veins. I longed for conversations with the Gods and Goddesses I knew and felt to be real. Why did I keep going back to something that obviously wasn’t resonating with me? I think that while I believed it to be for balance and even fear (as I said I began to have so much worrying thoughts that plagued me like a virus), I wasn’t sure. Naturally I’d assumed the thoughts were due to my dad’s sudden insistence that I get right with the Lord and his and my pawpaw’s preaching that occurred every moment I drew breath it seemed. I now realize that I while it wasn’t fair what they were doing, and indeed that may have played a part in my flip flopping, it wasn’t them. The truth was it was me. I’d done some horrible things as we all have. After all we are human. There are those we’ve lied to, manipulated for personal gain (even over the pettiest of things), and treated harshly. Gossip is one of the most prevalent and well seen example of this. We may believe something to hold truth and continue to spread it against another person which is 1. lying. We may even just happen to tell someone a piece of gossip so they’ll share the same opinion as we do. 2. Manipulation (you are using something to gain something). That piece of gossip could really hurt someone’s feelings or even cause them great distress. 3. Treating them harshly. This is just one example as I’m sure the possibilities of how we manage this could be discussed at lengths within it’s own post.
I’m not trying to say we are all bad people and place blame on anyone. I think this is something we naturally do because society sees it as permissible, even while stating it’s not. The norm of standards anymore seem to be looking out for one’s own self first off and ensuring they are properly cared for. Life has become a competition instead of a journey. We aren’t opponents who are fighting for the last cookie in the jar. We should be empowering one another and lifting each other up. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses as well as lessons to learn. By not taking part of this backhanded interactions that occur on a daily basis, we begin to take responsibility for ourselves. We begin to really become aware of what it is we put out there in words, thoughts, and deeds. When just excitedly passing on a juicy bit of gossip we’d just overheard, we continue to spread something and then deny even saying or believing it when confronted! We begin to shift blame onto others, “No, SHE said it first and swore it was true.” The fact of that matter is you decided to continue spreading it.
My lesson I learned tonight didn’t come from gossip but from the realization that tonight was Friday night which in the Jewish calendar is Shabbat–the Sabbath. It is such a beautiful and profound experience that I’ve always deeply clung to. I decided I was going to celebrate it tonight and when I did, I found it void of the emotion and peace it normally graced me with. I got the idea to pull out my tarot deck to finally get to the bottom of this because I realized that perhaps this meant I could finally leave it behind but maybe continue it on in a different manner? Create a ritual that has the same elements but change the meaning and tailor it for my own needs. As I did the reading I came to realize that I was running from this self-responsibility and as I looked at the moon card in my deck, it seemed scary but then I realized that it isn’t what it seems. To me, it was about going within so I could come back reborn and better. The two Anubis’ seemed to give this impression that if you weren’t ready, you’d be chased away. This wasn’t something to be taken lightly and as I read the other cards I realized that THAT had been the source of my fears. I hadn’t been ready and had instead fled somewhere where I didn’t necessarily have to own up to my shit like we do. I didn’t blame it on the devil or anything. I still knew I was the one doing it but I was sort of able to sweep it under the rug.
Upon realizing all of this, I was full of clarity, contentment, astonishment, and overall overwhelmed. It was only after this that I felt peace and I could hear the Goddess Isis beside me laugh and say it was about damn time. After I talked with Her, I looked at the Shabbat candles which were still lit and even though they were for Shabbat, I’d still designated the left as the Goddess candle and the right for the God. It was a natural thought that I stuck with. The God candle which was signifying the Abrahamic God is now completely burnt down but the Goddess candle hasn’t even melted a bit. As I look at the candles, I feel they represent the exact lesson I just learned. This lesson was one that now as I reflect upon it, makes sense in every regard. It wasn’t something I’d truly comprehended beforehand but sometimes we must move within the smoke in order to see with clarity what it is we are searching for. Instead of trying to grasp a lesson that we don’t even know what it relates to, we must move around in a particular situation before we can discover it. I wish everyone the brightest of blessings and really hope this post made sense.