So this past weekend has been full of me trying to really rediscover myself as well as understand some issues that keep cropping up in my life. Mix that in with family drama, the mess that life can be, being sick, and some major changes of self–well I was in a right mess. I knew it had something to do with my perception and felt that I already knew the answer. I later logged onto my Facebook account and was sort of spring cleaning it–unliking no longer relevant pages, groups, and the like before realizing I had some notes on my personal page. One was a schedule from my senior year in high school back in 2009/2010–WOAH! Then I happened upon a note from Beltane 2015 that I’d completely forgotten about and within it was the lesson I was in need of hearing once more. I’ve felt compelled to share it with ya’ll in case you too may be in the same mindset. 🙂
Hope everyone had a wonderful Beltane and if you’re celebrating the entire weekend, then I wish your celebration is full of beauty and love. My Beltane definitely didn’t go as I had planned. Yesterday, 1 May, was also my mother’s birthday and I had a job interview so talk about busy! The night before I’d grown quite restless and perhaps only managed four hours of sleep which only made me very grumpy in the morning. It didn’t help that the grumpy bug had bitten everyone else in the house either. I’d decided because I wasn’t in the mindset for ritual to skip that and instead celebrate in small ways throughout the day which will carry on into today as well. Long story short, it seemed as if everything I had planned yesterday just wasn’t working. Even just watching the sunrise didn’t happen as it was rainy and very dreary–which definitely didn’t help my mood! In fact, my mood didn’t even improve until later that afternoon after my interview. It wasn’t the prospects of perhaps acquiring this job after searching for a while that had made me smile. No, it was something so small that normally is taken for granted.
On my drive back home, I had turned the radio from the usual country station I always have it on to the hip-hop/rap station that I hadn’t really listened to since leaving college. I just wanted to listen to something much more upbeat which would definitely be keeping with the energy of Beltane–even though I didn’t give it a thought at the time! Actually I didn’t even think about it until I realized I was still listening to said station at this very moment! Funny how it works like that at times! However, I digress. As I continued my drive home, I paid attention to the passing fields and yards that, though damp, were lush and green! BAM! In my head popped the four and five of Chalices! The Four of Chalices came to my mind first but as I stopped and thought about it the Five really stood out so I’m going to start with that card and what it taught me yesterday.
To me, the five of chalices typically represents not being fully present in the moment, being detached and unaware, and even oblivious. It’s about not being attentive to a situation (or life in this case) and that around you. As can be seen in the card, the man is only paying attention to the spilled chalices, therefore completely oblivious to the two good ones. He’s instead only choosing to put his focus and energy towards that which 1) is on the more negative side, 2) that which he cannot control, 3) the depressing smaller picture instead of the bigger picture that everything’s alright, and 4) not letting go that which no longer serves him. This really hit me because instead of paying attention to the beauty around me, the joy of it all, I was only choosing to focus on a small part of the big picture. I was choosing to instead focus on the negative side of things–the rain, the attitudes, the lack of sleep, etc. I was completely missing the BIG picture! For one, we really need the rain as without rain nothing can grow. Two, everyone has bad days but it’s how you decide to handle them that counts. Instead of grumbling and feeding that grumpy, moody energy I needed to take a few deep breaths and just say a few things I was grateful for as that is an instant mood lifter in my opinion. It really makes you thankful for every day you’ve been blessed with. Going back to the rain, looking at the green earth I realized just how much it contrasted with the dark, gray sky which in turn made everything seem greener and beautiful. On sunny days, though I am aware of the green surrounding me, I definitely don’t appreciate it as much as I should. This allowed me to focus instead on that appreciation and wonder that comes from nature. This card really reminded me of choosing where I focus my attention and energy.
The other card was the Four of Chalices. This card was the first that floated–not floated, more like bolted!–into my mind. This card is sort of similar to me as the one above in that it’s about not paying attention. It’s about missing out on an opportunity because you are solely focused on the situation or even the future. Paying attention will allow you to be aware of the opportunities and blessings surrounding you. Instead of worrying about what’s to come (as the Chalices are in front of and not next to the person), look around, be fully present, and open yourself to the Universe who will provide what you need. This card stuck out to me as I’d been very much worried about the future with my bills, going back to school, and the long term accomplishments I’d be able to achieve with this job if I get it. Of course it’s always a good idea to make some sort of goals and a list of what you want to accomplish but sometimes we get so wrapped up in that worry and anxiety that we don’t pay attention to the now. This is the only moment guaranteed. How are you spending it? I was constantly in the mindset of the future that I wasn’t paying any attention to the here and now. This reminded me to slow down, take a deep breath, and just enjoy the moment now. I’d even become stressed and frustrated with how I wanted to celebrate Beltane throughout the day instead of simply sitting with the energy of the day, with the God and Goddess, and just enjoying life! I was so angry that my day wasn’t going according to plan that I wasn’t allowing the day to unfold as it should. I was to focused ahead that I was almost rushing through those small moments of celebration that I did do because to me they weren’t what I thought of as celebration.
This was my little aha moments for the day and remembering that I’ve got to stop and smell the roses which even goes with the energy of Taurus. Everything is connected and works together, we just have to stop and allow the present to penetrate our spirit and by doing that, we are in constant celebration.
I hope this lesson I learned may be helpful to some of you as I feel we can have the horrible tendency to allow the little things to ruin our perception of the day when there is so much to be joyous of–so much to celebrate! We also need to remember that we need to be fully present in each moment–allowing ourselves to pause and really enjoy life. ❤
Blessed Beltane and Brightest of Blessings,
The Autumn Witch